OK, welcome to my first blog post. Where to start....OK, let's start with why I am now writing a blog. I am starting a change in my life today. I am changing out of necessity, not desire. I am hopeful that necessity will lead to desire, but who knows.
I am 38 years old and find myself in a quandary. I have the hardest time saying no. No I don't want that, or no I don't want to do that, or no I don't have time for that. I find myself on the outside of my own life asking where am I? I was here, but now seem to be looking for who I am, who I was and where did the girl with the smile go.
Some may read this and think I am acting depressed. I'm not depresses. I know a lot about that and one thing I know for sure, the steps I am taking now are to prevent depression. I want to find the meaning for my life. Yes this is what half of the world is looking for, I know. That's why instead of bugging everyone around me with my journey, I am taking it somewhat alone. You can come along if you would like, but this is for me.
I have a loving, supportive husband who would do anything to make me happy. I have 2 beautiful kids who although they can be a handful, I think are really great. My husband and kids want me to be happy with who I am and where my life is and so I guess I am taking this journey for them too. They will reap the rewards as much as I will.
Don't get me wrong, I have a really wonderful life, and I appreciate everything I have been given and have earned. I just want to move into this phase of life with direction and purpose. I don't know what that will be, or how I will make it, but one thing I know for sure, it is time.
